Friday, January 31, 2014

life lately

alrighty, well we had a nice dose of gloom and doom, i figured it would be nice to put up some photos of life lately (or in the past while)
my lovely asian counterpart in a lot of these photos is my ever-wonderful friend eugenia. she's a keeper. and i love her dearly.

 the sibs. we decided early in this year that we all looked alike and separated at birth. obviously. anytime the triplets can get together it's a party.
*a fancy dance in lace dresses.*

 *our attempts at good photos usually fail miserably.*

*... and we end up with gems like this. this is our friendship in a photo.* 

*despite the blurriness, i really love this photo. the photo bomb from the street lamp in the background is especially wonderful.* 

*music moves us.* 

*this babe, who i clearly need to take posing lessons from, really lights up my life. and can we talk about her fabulous dress for a second? sequins or die.*

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

in the blue

today i am all sorts of emotions.
the best way to describe how i have been feeling lately is clouded. my thoughts and vision feel as if they have a large black sea of clouds swirling around them, and i'm stuck in a tiny boat being rocked back and forth by the nonsense around me.
have you ever found that you don't know what to do? no matter what you try, you can't sort anything out. you have arrived at the point where you can no longer help yourself, you need someone greater, someone stronger, and something more significant than yourself to get through to you.
i hate talking about things that are unpleasant because they're not fun, and i am a fun person. i enjoy the lighter side of life, i think there's good to be found in every situation, and i know that life always gets better.
but sometimes we can't control our little heart. it beats and sways to whatever music plays.
yet despite the forces of nature, i find comfort in the fact that i know who i am. God stripped me down to my bare bones a few years ago until i was just me. no attachments, no commitments, not a product of people or their guinea pig. just sydney. totally and completely sydney. that makes me thankful.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

the heart

what an interesting thing the heart is. we can't control it. sometimes it feels incredibly happy, and others it feels unbearably sick. like a weight crushing the chest, it just sits there, barely wanting to beat.
what's up with that?
lately i've been feeling not quite myself.
i think i can pinpoint exactly why i feel this way, but part of me doesn't want to believe my little heart might be diseased.
it's in mourning, and it seems like no one can help me. i know the Lord is sovereign and comforting... even psalm 34:4 says "i sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears". i love that verse. and i know the Lord is my comfort. but i'm just not feeling that comfort, you know what i mean? i just want to feel it.
so friends, i hope your hearts are beating a little stronger than mine these past few days. and if not, hang in there. we can all get through, and it will be okay.
i know people say that a lot, but it will always be okay. things will always get better.
this too shall pass.
i'm really looking forward to when my heart picks up the beat.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

the shameless diary

I have a condition. 
I don't know if there's a technical medical term for it, but I often suffer from "holy cow, this is a lot of work and I'm not very good at it so I won't finish what I started". 
Every time I start a blog, I hit the ground running. I'm excited to write, chart my life, and overwhelm the world with my amazing abilities (those abilities are tying a cherry stem with my tongue and parallel parking. I know, it's hard not to be jealous). 
But, within a few months, I lose my stride. I decide that I had a bad idea, I can't find pictures for my blog posts, and everything I write is quickly deleted because it's "inadequate". 
So, I'm going to challenge myself to write on this blog at least twice a week. Hopefully someone will be reading. But if not, I will not lose heart. 
I hope you join me for the ride, and we can experience my life as it rolls and tumbles together. I will show you my best and worst. I will write my shameless diary. Welcome aboard.