Tuesday, January 28, 2014

in the blue


today i am all sorts of emotions.
the best way to describe how i have been feeling lately is clouded. my thoughts and vision feel as if they have a large black sea of clouds swirling around them, and i'm stuck in a tiny boat being rocked back and forth by the nonsense around me.
have you ever found that you don't know what to do? no matter what you try, you can't sort anything out. you have arrived at the point where you can no longer help yourself, you need someone greater, someone stronger, and something more significant than yourself to get through to you.
i hate talking about things that are unpleasant because they're not fun, and i am a fun person. i enjoy the lighter side of life, i think there's good to be found in every situation, and i know that life always gets better.
but sometimes we can't control our little heart. it beats and sways to whatever music plays.
yet despite the forces of nature, i find comfort in the fact that i know who i am. God stripped me down to my bare bones a few years ago until i was just me. no attachments, no commitments, not a product of people or their guinea pig. just sydney. totally and completely sydney. that makes me thankful.

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