Tuesday, November 4, 2014

slightly out of focus


I took these photos because my hair is finally (finally!!) getting to where it touches my shoulders and I can shamelessly put it in a ponytail sans bobby pins. I also wanted to show off that I am wearing lip gloss (what?) and this sweet Harvard sweatshirt which is a) not mine, b) super comfy, and c) the perfect shade of red. Harvard, please donate your patented school colors to ours (they're blue and gold. You see my dilema).
I also took these photos in conglomeration with my last post on doing things that scare me (OH MY GOSH CAMERAS SCARE ME).
But what I didn't intend with these pictures was to see my mom.
My mom passed away when i was eight years old. It's not a sob story, and I don't intend to tell it. What's interesting, is that ever since I was little I was considered the "orphan child" of our clan (there are six of us. the sperm and egg can't always bat a hundred). I had my dad's fair dark hair, my grandmother's Italian eyes, my other grandmother's feet, goodness knows whose legs, and hands donated from a tiny porcelain doll. I have always felt like a little package of uniqueness next to my super stick-thin, tall, siblings with lighter hair and blue or green eyes.
But looking at these pictures (which yes, are slightly blurry and entirely out of focus. It's "artistic" lol) I thought "hey mom, I see you there." Which, for whatever reason, I have never seen before and it gives me the most profound sense of pride anyone could have.
Furthermore, the fact that people don't even think twice about me being my new mama's daughter (she is Korean and ENTIRELY gorgeous. all the babe genes in the world went to her, I tell ya what), means that I emulate two mamas. I couldn't be more proud.


Oh, and I decided to abandon that whole "not properly capitalizing" thing I was doing in my blog posts. It was super cute, but for an English nazi like myself (courtesy of all my relentless high school teachers. I actually cannot thank them enough, because while I cry editing my peers essays, I can actually spell. I THOUGHT THIS WAS COLLEGE.) it doesn't fly. 
I also am realizing that writing with parenthetical sentences frequently can really throw of a sentences groove... I need to work on that. 

2 comments:

Morgan Nicole Ilg said...

oh my gosh. These pictures hurt my eyes.

I can say that because I'm your sister.

Let's learn how to focus ;b hehehe but I can tell your hair's getting longer!

Since you're doing these outfit posts now, please, let me take some for you when you come to visit!

Cathie said...

Oh my gosh, Sydney, these pictures remind me so much of your mom! I thought it was her at first. I love your writing - parentheses and all! :)