Friday, November 6, 2015

it's been far too long

 Walking with my roommate to a meeting in the rain and lightning because if I have one fear in life it's lightning. Praise the Lord for amazing friends!

Sunset picnics in the park at sunset.

Aerial views of ORU are oh-so-stunning.

Floor initiation with the best girls anyone could know.

My brain is constantly going.
It's like a little hamster on a wheel running and running and constantly going to the next thing. I frequently topple into bed well after midnight amazed at what I did during the day and slightly terrified because I feel like I didn't accomplish anything.
This semester I took on a LOT of responsibility. And, despite what I thought going into it all, sometimes I wonder how in the world I can balance all this nonsense on my shoulders. I literally walk around with my phone in hand so I don't forget what I have in my schedule. I wear a WATCH now, for heaven's sake! It's ridiculous.
But at the same time, I have to sit back and look at my life and realize I have a lovely thing going here. It's chaotic, but it's also kind of beautiful... in a weird, twisted sort of way.
Oh, is that a pimple on my nose from lack of sanity? It's totally cool. We can rock that pimple. 
These are the things I tell myself anyway.
Really though, it's okay to feel like life is hectic sometimes. College is this rare time where I can still be a kid yet dip my toes into adulthood just enough. At the same time, I can also realize what I want and don't want when I officially become an "adult." Which, by the way, is the weirdest concept to me. Becoming an adult. When does this actually happen? When you turn 21? When you get married? When you get a raise? How does someone become an adult? I swear I'm still eight years old sometimes.
I'm going to do my best to slow my brain down a little next semester. I've tried out the whole hamster on the wheel thing and I'm willing to hang it up for a semester to enjoy life. To enjoy the opportunities college gives me to MEET people instead of meet jobs. If we're always looking towards work, what are we really living for anyway?
Work is a means to an end, after all. But people and relationships with them are priceless. That's never something worth sacrificing for a couple lines on my resume.